


What You Deserve

by arawen898



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Romance, Sex In A Cave, Smut, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:33:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arawen898/pseuds/arawen898
Summary: “If you want to give me what I deserve, then give me you. You are the only thing I want. Please Ben, now that we’re finally together. Don’t deny me this, don’t deny us this, I beg you.”Post TROS fix it-fic (I say "post" because for me, the movie ended with the kiss and Ben's smile). After defeating Palpatine and defeating death itself, Rey and Ben are unable to hold back and they give in to each other way sooner than any of them ever expected.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 275





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As many of you, I was so angry when I walked out of the cinema after watching TROS. I knew about the leaks and I knew what would happen in the movie and yet I was devastated. This lead me into writing my own fix-it fic for our beloved couple. Sorry for eventual inaccuracies. Second chapter will be NSFW!

Ben was happy. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was happy. Rey, the only woman he had ever loved, was alive. He had used his life force to revive her and now she was sitting in his embrace, returning his smile and her eyes shone with happiness. Soon after he had revived her she had kissed him, confirming what Ben had suspected all along, that she loved him as much as he loved her. Together they had fought Palpatine and defeated him, no, Rey had defeated him while Ben had been thrown into a pit. His Rey had defeated the Emperor on her own and thus sacrificed her life for the people she loved. However, there was no way Ben would've left her. They were a dyad and his love for her gave him strength to climb up from the pit again despite a broken leg and a hurting back. He knew that the only chance to bring her out of her lifeless state was if he healed her through the Force. It was never an option for him, Rey meant everything to him and her life was far more important than his. But why hadn’t he passed out when he had finished bringing her back? He had fully expected himself to so why wasn’t he now in the same state as she had been? 

Palpatine was defeated and so was his fleet, but that was the last thing on Rey’s mind right now. Here she was, in the arms of Ben Solo having just been brought back to life thanks to him giving his life force to her. Overcome with happiness over the fact that they were finally together and free to be so, she kissed him again and she could feel him smile into the kiss which made her smile in return and their teeth grazed each other. When they pulled back, their foreheads touched and Rey couldn’t stop running her fingers through his black, damp hair. 

“We did it Ben, we did it! We’re free.” Rey was sobbing now, her tears dropping onto Ben’s chin. 

Ben sniffled. “No Rey, you did it. You defeated Palpatine, I was merely a helper.” 

“You saved me, how does that make you "merely a helper"? Also, how can I possibly thank you enough for that?” 

“There is no need.” He grasped her left hand that was still caressing his face. “You and me, together. That is enough for me.” He turned his head and kissed her palm. 

“Ben,” It felt so unusual and yet so natural to call him by his birthname knowing that he now fully earned it. “I know I should’ve told you this before, but I love you. What you have done today, has made me realize my true feelings. When you reverted back to Kylo Ren, I couldn’t love you or at least I didn’t want to love you and I am so sorry for that...” 

“Don’t.” For the first time since he had taken her in his arms earlier he let go of her completely and looked away, his hands now folded in his lap. “I have done horrible things, things only deserving of hate and things that aren’t possible to forgive. I don’t deserve your love, I don’t deserve anyone’s love and you know it.” 

Rey moved even closer to him, her leg touching his side, cupped his chin and once again turned him to face her. 

“Don’t say that. You were given second chances and you took them. You left Kylo Ren behind and let Ben Solo rise. I have seen it all. You have been manipulated by this creature all your life, from when you were in your mother’s womb up until now. The man who is sitting next to me, is the real you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t sit here right now and I most certainly wouldn’t touch or kiss you on my own will.” 

Ben’s lips were trembling and he felt like flood gates were about to open in his mind. “You...you do really love me?” 

Rey laughed and nodded. “Yes Ben, I do.” 

He embraced her then and crushed her against him. 

“I love you too, Rey.” He said into her shoulder and pressed his lips to the tender point just where her neck and shoulder met. “I think I always have, I only was too blind to see it in the beginning.” 

Rey thought about all the times he looked at her, both through their bond and when they were face to face, and the conflicts that were always visible on his features. It wasn’t only about him being conflicted over his actions, but also over his feelings for her. Hearing him say those three words made her heart flutter. She had sensed it way before but actually hearing him saying it was the final confirmation she had been waiting for. She nuzzled his cheek, his very short stubble causing a delicate sensation on her own skin. 

“It is alright. It's all in the past. Now we both know how we feel. Let's not dwell on it any longer.” 

Ben let go of her and both immediately felt cold, like they were each other’s shelter. “You’re right. Let's get out, we can’t linger on this spot for too long. I was wondering one thing though.” His brow furrowed like he was thinking twice before saying anything. “Why am I not unconscious? I went into this absolutely certain that I would be after saving you, so why am I not?” 

“I was never really dead, my body was but my soul was alive. Remember when you told me that we form a Force dyad? If one person dies, the other one has to die too for that person to be completely dead. When you healed me through the Force, I transferred some of it back to you. I only gave you part of my strength as soon as I felt strong enough so I don’t know if you had enough. Try to stand up and walk for a bit and see how you feel.” 

He tried to stand up and could do so seemingly without problems, he could walk and the pain in his leg was still there but not nearly as bad as before. The pain in his back and ribs was also better. 

“It does feel much better. Thank you.” 

_You’re quite welcome!_

He went back to her spot and reached out his hand, she took it and stood up. When she wobbled a bit, he was quick to catch her. 

“Alright?” 

“Yeah, I think so. You?” 

“As good as can be I suppose. We should try to walk for a bit. I think I can manage but I might need to rest a few times.” 

“That’s fine. The others are looking for us now, but it will take some time before they find us unless we make it out ourselves first.” 

“How can you be so sure they are looking for us right now?"

“I can feel it. Finn is force sensitive.” 

The mention of FN-2187 made Ben dig his fingertips into Rey’s hips. He knew he shouldn’t be jealous, but he couldn’t help it as he knew that the former storm trooper was quite fond of her. 

“Is he like us then? Can you and he feel each other just like you and I can?” Ben knew he could easily find out himself but had no intention at all of doing so and he certainly didn't feel like interrogating Finn's mind.

“No, not nearly. Finn and I can sense where the other person is and the life state of the person but we cannot communicate the way you and I can. He can’t see what I am actually doing and I can’t see what he is actually doing either.” 

Ben let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding and released his hold on her. Rey sensed his insecurity and caressed his knuckles with her thumbs. 

“Don’t worry. He's my friend, nothing more.” 

Ben looked down at her and she saw the fear of abandonment in his eyes, the eyes of a boy who all his life had been rejected and abused. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” 

“I know. It's alright, we will work this out eventually and I will help you overcome everything you have been through.” 

Ben gave her a reluctant smile, not doubting her but doubting himself. “Thank you.” He gave her a kiss on her forehead and her fingers a hard squeeze before letting go. 

“No worries. Now, let’s go.” 

They walked slowly as they both were still tired from the fight and paused a few times when the pain in Ben’s body got too bad. But as soon as he had rested for about a minute he was able to walk again, still limping a bit but it was manageable. 

Exegol was a dark place and sometimes they had to use their sabers as light source. They didn’t speak much and when they did, it was mostly to discuss which way they should take or checking to see that the other person was alright. Even if they did remember the way as a whole there were still some small pathways where they had to discuss whether to turn left or right. 

After walking for what they believed was two hours, they decided to take a longer break and found a cavern with a big, flat rock which was big enough for both of them to sit on. After placing their sabers between smaller rocks, still lightened up, they took off their boots and stretched out their legs. 

“What is going to happen next, after we get out?” Ben asked as he took a seat next to Rey, his hand searching hers and eventually finding it. 

“Who knows.” Rey looked straight forward but her eyes focused inwards. “We will have to deal with the Resistance’s attitude towards you first. They will not be very happy when they find out about us.” 

“They surely won’t. Wouldn't surprise me if the second they see me they will pull out the nearest blaster and shoot me.” 

Rey tightened her hold on his hand before intertwining their fingers and turning towards him. “Then they will have to shoot me first.” 

“They are your friends Rey, they are not going to harm you. Besides, I would not allow you to put yourself in danger for my sake.” 

“And you think I would allow them to kill you? No Ben, no! Besides, you put yourself in danger for me so why wouldn’t I do the same for you?” She raised her voice but still managed to keep her emotions somewhat grounded. 

“Rey...” His hand hesitantly came up to her cheek. “Seeing your lifeless body was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, even worse than the possibility of me becoming the same while bringing you back to life. You have to promise me not to do anything reckless.” 

“Reckless? Reckless?! You call me wanting to protect you “reckless”? Stop it, Ben!” Now Rey couldn’t hold back. She released his hand and instead grasped the front of his shirt so hard that her knuckles turned white. “I am not losing you again,” She started crying and violent sobs wrecked her already exhausted body. “Not now when I finally have you and we finally are together. You must understand that.” 

Ben held her upper arms and leaned his forehead against hers. “Forgive me, of course I understand. We need to support each other. Just like you will be there for me, I will always be there for you.” He moved his hands up her shoulders to her neck, making her shiver. “We can go somewhere else, another planet, start anew, at least for some time to distance ourselves from everything. What do you think?” 

Rey shook her head up and down, loosening her grip on his shirt and she felt herself calm down. Ben’s voice had a calming effect on her mind. 

“I would like that. As long as it is with you, I would go anywhere. Most of all I wish to help you overcome everything that plagues you and always has. Will you let me?” 

Ben swallowed hard. It wasn’t something he looked forward to but he knew it had to be done and with Rey by his side he knew it would be easier, even if it would take long. 

“Yes. I owe you so much after you saved my life so this is the least I can do.” 

Rey embraced him then and nuzzled his shoulder, her arms coming around his broad back and the heat from him transferred to her own skin. 

_Thank you, my love. It is I who owe you, and I will do anything in my power to help you heal._

She continued to send him encouraging thoughts and images through their bond and he hugged her tighter in response. Her hands caressed his back up and down and as she felt his rhythmic breathing into her neck she closed her eyes and enjoyed just _being._

Eventually, Rey pulled away from Ben’s embrace. Running one single digit down his temple she studied his face; the dark circles under his eyes, the cuts on his left cheekbone and on his lip, his weary yet intense eyes. All those marks and the ones she hadn’t yet seen were testaments of him risking his life for her and it filled her with sadness but even more so a need she couldn’t really identify. Her breathing became short and laboured, her heart started to beat faster and her eyes flickered between his eyes and his big, inviting lips. 

“Rey?” 

“Please, kiss me.” 

He granted her wish, and pressed his lips to hers before gently massaging them with his own. Tears still fell down Rey’s cheeks and Ben pondered whether he should stop but when Rey only pressed herself closer to him he decided against it. He was obviously what she needed right now and if needed be, he would stay here and hold her and kiss her to the end of time. 

More comfortable with themselves and neither wanting nor being able to stop they dared to roam their hands more freely over each other’s bodies, touching and caressing but avoiding certain areas. Rey felt the heat rise in her and it was a different heat from the one she felt during training or when the sun shone on her during hot days. This heat was something she only felt in the presence of Ben and something she had never felt with anyone else before him. Feeling bolder she opened her mouth and her tongue tentatively touched his lips, begging for entrance. She didn’t quite know what she was doing, only that it felt really good and that it felt like the right thing to do. Ben hesitated a bit before opening his own mouth and their tongues experimentally caressed and tasted the other. Unsure what to do, Ben just let his instincts guide him and so far it appeared to work well. He had never kissed anyone like this, in fact he had never kissed anyone at all before Rey and it had certainly been worth the wait. Hearing her moans and feeling her soft, sweet mouth on his and her hands now clutching his neck made his treacherous body react and he could feel himself harden with every kiss and every caress. They both lost track of time and it wasn’t until Ben felt Rey straddle him and break the kiss and instead beginning to kiss down his throat that he felt that it was time to slow down.

“I...Rey...” He rasped as he pulled away from her and locked his eyes with hers. 

Rey averted her eyes from his penetrating stare, feeling almost delirious from their kisses but also guilty. “I’m sorry, I went too far didn’t I?” 

“No, it’s not that. It’s just...we can’t do this here.” 

Rey raised her eyes again. So he did want to but for some reason said that they couldn’t? If they were talking about the same thing that is. “Can’t do what?” She asked, knowing what he was about to say but she wanted to hear it too. 

“You know what I mean. We can’t...” He took a deep breath and blushed, embarrassed about what he was going to say since he never spoke of such things. “...we can’t make love here.” 

Hearing him say those words caused a tingle in Rey’s centre and she closed her eyes for a moment, relishing it, before meeting his again. “Why not? I can both hear it in your voice and feel that you want it too.” She bucked her hips against his evident arousal and he let out a quiet moan. 

“My body betrays me. I do want you, don’t believe anything else. But there is no way we're doing it here on this hard ground in this forsaken, dark place. After everything you’ve done for me you deserve anything better than this.” 

Rey’s lips formed a thin line as she pressed them hard together to conceal what emotions ran through her and how touched she was by how much he cared for her. However it didn’t decrease her lust, quite the opposite and she tightened her hold on him with her legs. 

“If you want to give me what I deserve, then give me _you._ You are the only thing I want. Please Ben, now that we’re finally together. Don’t deny me this, don’t deny _us_ this, I beg you.” 

Ben looked away, trying to regain focus but the only thing on his mind was Rey’s hand as it went up his chest to his nape and his cock which strained against his trousers and pressed into her equally clothed sex. Closing his eyes, he dared to turn back to her. When he opened them again she looked at him with big, glossy hazel eyes. 

“There might be no time...” 

“Trust me, there is.” 

_They will not_ _be here_ _yet._

“Is there a risk that you might get...” 

“Pregnant? No, I have an implant. There is a risk of course but it is very, very small.” 

“There is another thing.” He licked his lips and then swallowed hard. “This is all new to me. I have never even been close to being intimate with anyone before.” 

Rey was relieved to hear this. She had expected him to have quite a history of lovers considering his former positions and was scared that her inexperience would make her somewhat inferior to him. But knowing they were equals in this as well gave her a small increase in her confidence. 

“Neither have I, Ben. We are in this together. We can learn together, not just today but many other days to come too.” She caressed the back of his neck and dipped her fingers below his neckline, the thumb of her other hand grazing the small cut on his lower lip. “I love you Ben,” She whispered against his lips, her breath intermingling with his. “And I want you. Right here. Right now.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is incredibly long and incredibly smutty. Hopefully it's also incredibly sweet and incredibly sexy. After all, it is what they deserve ;) NSFW!

The Force snapped around them and Ben couldn’t hold back any longer. He crashed his lips to hers and he did it so quick that she didn’t have time to react. For so long he had held himself back and had hoped for the perfect moment to make her his. While this wasn’t what he had expected the important thing was that she wanted this as much as he did, and who was he really to deny her? 

As Ben thrust his tongue into her mouth they both kissed with their mouths completely open and without any inhibitions, and Rey figured that she never wanted this to end. He tasted of blood and he smelled of dirt and sweat. But she didn’t care. He was _here_. He was _alive._ And most of all, he was _hers_! 

Ben gripped her arse and ground her towards him. He had never felt more turned on in his life and it was almost painful. But he had waited his whole life for this, then he could surely wait for a little longer and he knew they shouldn’t rush anything since neither had done this before. 

Rey moaned both at the feeling of his hands on her and her core rubbing against his erection. She had been wet for some time now but feeling his growing hardness threatened her wetness to soak through her underwear. When they broke off for air, both were equally flustered and their lips swollen. Rey released her hold on him then and rose to a standing position. Ben looked at her questioningly as she backed away a few steps. What he saw next though was something he would never forget. Rey unbuckled her belt, grabbed her tunic and brought it over her head before doing the same with her shirt, leaving her in only her breastband, armbands, trousers and socks. When she was about to remove the breastband, Ben got up from his seat and was in front of her as fast as he could. “Let me...” He purred, taking hold of her armband on her right arm and his fingers brushing her skin in the process.

Goosebumps formed on Rey’s skin wherever he touched her and she struggled to breathe as he one by one undid her bands. When those were finished he moved his fingers up her arms, behind her back to the straps of her breast band. Keeping eye contact the whole time, he wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing. Rey gave him a small nod and he unhooked the straps before letting the piece fall to the ground to join the rest of her items. Taking one step back he got a full view of her upper body and he breathed in deeply at what he saw. In the blue glow from their sabers she was possibly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen; muscular yet refined and her breasts were small but rounded, nipples dark and perked from the slight chill in the air. His pants grew tighter at the sight and then she was still wearing her pants. 

“Well?” Rey asked, almost timidly. The way Ben stared at her and didn’t say anything made her a bit self-conscious and incredibly hot. Instinctively she brought her arms up to cover herself but Ben reached out and stopped her. 

“No.” He closed the small distance between them again, her nipples now brushing against his shirt and he splayed his hands on her waist. “You’re beautiful, please don’t cover yourself.” Then he tilted his head and leaned down and kissed her, his tongue immediately seeking entrance and she let him while his hands moved to her back, almost spanning all of it with their width, and pressed her even closer to him. Rey moaned at the feeling of her bare skin against the rough and yet soft material of his shirt. Her now oversensitive nipples hardened and she had to squeeze her legs together for friction and relief. This was all new to her, she had felt sexual arousal before but never related to an actual person. On Jakku her priorities had always been survival and getting her ration of food for the day which meant there had never been time to find a partner. She was more than eager to discover this side of her, and of Ben too. 

Fingering the hem of Ben’s shirt, Rey began pulling it upwards. When she couldn’t reach any higher, Ben took over but when he was about to pull it over his head he was reminded of him hitting the stone wall when he fell into the pit. Rey’s life force might have healed him much but this injury still hurt rather bad during certain movements. 

“Ah!” His arms immediately fell down again and he winced. 

“What happened?” Rey felt horror wash over her like pouring cold rain, thinking he had injured himself. 

“I hit a rock pretty badly when I fell into the pit before and I should’ve thought twice before doing too hasty movements.” 

He touched the side of his abdomen near his ribcage and Rey immediately put her hand there but Ben shoved it away, knowing her intentions. 

“No, Rey. Save your powers.” He pulled her to him and lowered his lips to her ear. “You might need them later.” 

Rey was about to ask him if he was sure of that but could only muster a sigh. His low voice caused a rush of wetness between her legs and she grabbed him by the shoulders to steady herself, much to Ben’s joy and he grinned as he kissed down her throat. 

“At least let me help you...with...your...shirt.” 

The words came out in pants and Ben stopped. “Fair enough.” He smirked and bent at the waist so that Rey could lift his shirt up and then over his head. After throwing it onto the rock she took a step back to look at him. A pang of heat shot through her lower abdomen and threatened to spread throughout her whole body which now was trembling with desire. Spots of dirt and bruises and both old and new scars covered him and it was far from the cleaned-up body she had seen through the Force a long time ago but it had the same marvelous shape and muscular build. To her, he was perfect. “My Ben. All mine.” She said in a low voice before kissing him again, moving her hands up his stomach. His skin was damp yet rough and her mouth left his to leave a trail of butterfly kisses along his jawline and then down his neck, sometimes darting out her tongue to savor the salty taste of him. She paid extra attention to one big bruise that covered his right chest. The length of him pressed into her stomach and she reached between them and cupped him, making him moan and throwing his head backwards. If going by proportions, his member certainly was proportional with the rest of him and the thought of him fitting inside her both scared her and made her excited. 

Ben grabbed her by her hair buns, probably untangling them and messing them up but he didn’t care, pressed her flush to him and searched out her mouth. His tongue brushed eagerly against hers and now that he had had a taste, he couldn’t get enough and only found himself wanting more. He turned them around so that she had her back against their rock. Slowly he walked them towards it and when Rey felt the edge of it hit the back of her legs she sat down with Ben following suit, settling between her legs. Still kissing her, his hands cupped her breasts and pinched the erected nipples with his thumbs and forefingers. Rey squeaked and almost jumped in surprise. 

_Where did Ben Solo_ _get so much confidence_ _from?_

“You.” Came the muffled reply as he continued his caress. “Does this feel good?” 

“Yes, really good!” 

He broke the kiss and reached behind her and spread out his shirt so that she could sit on it and Rey shifted slightly backwards to do so, also taking the opportunity to release her hair completely from the buns. For now this was the best they could have, it would never reach the comfort of a bed but then neither would like to be elsewhere right now. 

Ben enjoyed the feel of her breasts in his palms for one more moment before moving down to her pants. Silently asking for permission through the Force, he was met with a smile and then shifted his focus to undoing them. She helped him by raising her hips as he pulled off both her pants and her underwear in one go and with a delicacy Rey didn’t think was possible, he also pulled off her socks. His thumbs caressed the backs of her feet before going up her now bare legs. Anxiety took its hold on Rey and she kept her legs closed. No one had ever seen her like this and while she trusted Ben and knew he had never been with anyone like this either, she had never felt more vulnerable and was afraid to know what he would think about her. 

“Let me see you.” He whispered as he carefully nudged her knees apart and she complied though still a bit hesitant. “It’s alright Rey, relax.” She softened in his grip and allowed herself to bare herself fully to him. 

He could see the evidence of her arousal glistening in the blue, dim light and it took him all his willpower not to bring out his cock and plunge into her. A thatch of soft, curly dark hair covered her mound and his mouth watered. Moving up her thighs he was careful to avoid the sensitive area not wanting to move too fast. 

“You’re beautiful.” He murmured and smiled at her before connecting their mouths. “Beautiful.” He repeated as his hands settled on her hips and yanked her forward so that her arse was near the edge of the rock. 

Rey was stunned at his choice of word and wondered first if he really meant what he said. She had never seen herself as “beautiful” that way. But the way he looked at her with so much love and really seemed to enjoy what he was doing confirmed to her that he was telling the truth. Judging by the few times she had heard men talk about sex, or rather _fucking_ , and how straightforward they appeared to be she expected him to pull down his pants and take her there and then and she was about to wrap her legs around him. Instead she felt his mouth go on a path downwards, taking turns in kissing the swells of her breasts and capturing her nipples with his lips. 

“What are you doing?” She gasped when he caught one pebbled bud between his teeth, causing blood to rush to her core. 

He paused his ministrations and looked up at her with dazed eyes. “I want to give you what you deserve.” 

Rey felt tears stinging in her eyes again. Here he was, almost broken both physically and mentally and for the moment not nearly as strong as she, and yet he wanted to do everything he could to make her feel good. 

“Ben, you don’t have to. You really don’t have to.” She ran her fingertips through his hair. 

“But I want to...” He said huskily, one hand now cupping her breast while his mouth and tongue occupied the other. “You said there is still time, and I want to take advantage of every second of that amount of time. If we can’t be where I have imagined our first time together, then let us at least make of this the best we can.” 

She couldn’t say she complained about his reasoning but that didn’t make her less nervous and especially when he in the next moment showed her visions of what he intended to do. 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“I’m sorry to say I’m not,” He grinned when he suddenly turned serious. “But I promise to stop if you find it uncomfortable.” He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles, even covered in dried blood and wounds he treated them as if they were the most precious thing to him. 

Rey nodded, “I trust you, and I want this. Just be gentle.” Her other hand which had been planted behind her on the rock left its position and gave his head a slight push downwards, showing him what she wanted.

Ben smiled up at her, his dark eyes glimmering, and continued to do so during his descend. Her abs were shaped from various years of scavenging, training and fighting and he kissed each one before moving further down. Palming the insides of her thighs he spread them further and pressed his lips to the tuft of hair before shifting backwards so that her sex came into full view, eliciting a small growl from him. 

“So wet, have I really done this to you?”

He caressed her with the backs of his knuckles and then with the pads of his fingers, battered and bruised they were but to Rey they felt _oh_ so good! 

“Mm hm.” 

It was the only words she was able to utter. She wanted him on her so much now that she was shaking. When she gave him permission through the Force, he looked up at her one last time before lowering his mouth onto her. 

“Ben, I...ahh!” 

Only the tip of his tongue touched her clit but it was enough for her to buck her hips. 

“Tell me what you like.” He said before doing it again. 

To Rey, masturbation and touching herself had always more been about releasing stress and not about releasing sexual tension. 

“I…I don’t know. I have never really.…” 

Not knowing what to say or do, she decided to show him instead; visions of herself when she as quickly as possible tried to get off by rubbing her clit only to get that relaxing feeling afterwards as a way of forgetting the worries about not having enough food for the next day. She never particularly liked actually doing it, her head always tilted to the side with a far-away look. It had been a habit even after she had joined the Resistance, consciously blocking out all thoughts as she only had focused on the mission at hand. 

_Oh!_

Ben’s eyes widened before softening again and he looked at her with compassion. “Don’t worry, it’s fine.” He ran his hand back and forth over her stomach trying to reassure her. “Just tell me what feels good and what doesn’t, okay?” 

“Okay.” Rey leaned back on her elbows and exposed herself to him completely. 

He swept his tongue through her folds, the first time only tentatively and when he heard her gasp he did it repeatedly with more pressure and he moaned at the taste and silky feeling of her. Before, he had only heard about what giving a woman oral sex was supposed to be like and watched some holo clips but never had he imagined it would be this good. It was nothing like the fantasies of her that had occupied his mind and kept him company late at night during the past year and hearing and feeling Rey respond made the experience even more enjoyable.

“Oh...oh!” She choked when he dipped his tongue into her slit, the tip going inside.

“You like this?” It wasn’t really a question, but he wanted, _needed,_ to hear her say it. 

“Yeah!” She croaked, barely recognizing her own voice at this point. “It feels great!” 

Ben growled and lifted her legs over his shoulders before he delved into her. Rey cried out and fisted her hand in his hair as he wiggled his tongue back and forth across her opening before entering her again, eagerly drinking up the drops of evidence from the effects he had on her. It was easy to tell only from her bodily reactions what she liked and what she didn’t. She stiffened with discomfort when he nibbled her inner lips with his teeth and thrust her hips upwards and whimpered when he took all of her in his mouth as he lapped up her arousal. The sensations his mouth and tongue created made Rey feel slightly lightheaded and she had to lie down completely because otherwise she felt as she would pass out due to the intense pleasure. Not even two years ago had she thought of him as her worst enemy. Now she was completely at his mercy and she didn’t mind it one bit because every touch, every caress, every sound, every lick and every kiss ignited a flame in her that would soon enough threaten to burn her up with desire. 

He continued to lick her as his calloused hands wandered upwards and cupped her breasts. Rey covered his hands with her own, holding him in place and mewled when he sucked her clit into his mouth. She was intoxicating and her taste invaded all his senses. 

“Stars...Rey...you’re marvelous.” 

He pulled back slightly and teasingly traced a finger around her slit before pushing it into her, causing her stomach muscles to contract and she bucked her hips so violently that she bumped into him and his chin got covered in her wetness. She looked down at him, her eyes wide open, and was met with the sight of him licking her arousal from his chin. The smile he gave her was almost enough for her to come on the spot but when he began moving his finger in and out of her she knew she was in for more. 

Ben settled one hand on her stomach to prevent her from hitting him in the face while he experimentally curled his digit inside her wet heat. She was tight at first but when he felt her relax and adjust to him he slowly added a second finger. Rey moaned loudly at the new intrusion and when he began to flick his tongue over her most sensitive body part, she felt the tension grow in her lower abdomen and she knew she wasn’t far from climax. 

“Oh Ben! Yes...like that! Feels...so...good! Don’t stop!” 

She didn’t have the power to hold her head up any longer and bumped it against the hard rock but the pain was only temporary. She squirmed in his hold and Ben groaned when he felt her walls tighten around his fingers and he increased the pace both of them and his tongue. Desperate for something to hold on to Rey searched out his thick mane and grabbed it as if her life depended on it. Ben chuckled and the vibrations felt like bolts of electricity shooting into her, only intensifying the sensations. When she started to thrust her hips to meet his fingers he knew she wasn’t far. 

“Come for me my love!” He said roughly, both emotional and extremely aroused by the sight before and above him. 

Drops of perspiration formed on Rey’s forehead and she was hyperventilating now. The closer she got to release the tighter her body became and the more she began thrashing about. The knot in her belly grew for each ragged breath she took and with one final stroke of his fingers and one final flick of his tongue, she exploded. Arching her back she let out a strangled cry and pressed his face firmly into her with her palm, afraid that he would let go at any second although she knew he wouldn’t. Heat surged through her as her heartbeats matched the thrumming of her sex around his fingers that were pumping in and out of her throughout her whole release, only slowing down as he felt her soften around him. 

When she eventually came back to herself Rey slumped down her body heavy against the hard surface and her legs that had been trapping Ben’s head between them fell to the sides. Her breaths were loud and deep and her heart felt like it was going to break out of her chest considering the power of its beats. This was nothing like any physical release she had ever had; before she had mostly felt it in her lower parts resulting in drowsiness afterwards. Now it wasn’t only her body that had experienced the sensations of sexual completion, even her mind and soul felt connected to her in ways that she had only ever experienced with meditation before, if even that. All thanks to the man who was still nestled between her thighs, still touching her intimately but tenderly while she did her best to calm down. Mustering some strength she rose, supporting herself on her arms until she was in a sitting position. After placing a final kiss on the inside of her left thigh Ben did the same and came up face to face with her. His eyes were black as the hair on his head and she could see a hint of pride in them, pride over the fact that he had been the first man to ever make her come like this and hopefully the only man. Rey’s hands came up to touch his jaws, her thumb grazing his plump lips where she could still feel traces of her passion.

“I’m sorry, I must have choked you before.” She said, still struggling to breathe properly.

“Don’t worry. If you would’ve then you should know that I would pass away as a very happy man.” 

He darted his tongue out to lick off the remnants of her and with that also licked her thumb. She grabbed the back of his head then, her fingers tangling in his tousled hair and kissed him in gratitude. Still a little disoriented from her orgasm, she didn’t think about his cut on his lip and when she bit down on it he abruptly pulled back. 

“Ow!” 

He put his finger to his mouth and she did the same as a reflex. 

“Forgive me, I didn’t think clearly!” 

“You mean you _couldn’t_ think clearly?” He cocked his eyebrow at her before he gave her a playful peck. 

_He truly was a Solo through and through now._

“Very funny.” She mocked but changed her tone and she ran her fingertips up and down his sides. “For someone who has never been with a woman before, you were certainly good at what you were doing. How?” 

“I have watched...things.” 

Rey saw immediately that he was talking about holovids but decided not to press further and especially not when she saw he was ashamed of it. It was none of her business anyway since it all happened before their time. 

“Well, whatever you watched, it taught you good.” 

Ben let out a laugh in amusement and placed another peck on her lips. A quiet moment passed between them until Rey glanced down on the front of his trousers, which now looked very uncomfortable. Looking up again she searched his face for signs of reluctance. Nonesuch was found, only trust and want. Ben took her hands in his then and brought them to the first button. Without hesitation, Rey unbuttoned them and pulled down the zipper. Ben stood up and lifted his feet one by one as she pulled them and his underwear down in one go. He assisted her in taking off his socks and when he finally stood before her in all his glory, she couldn’t resist reaching out and touch his very obvious erection. She encircled him loosely at the base, running her fingers through the dark curls before experimentally running her fist up and down his shaft. He felt soft as velvet yet strong and powerful in her hand, throbbing and twitching every time she brushed over the blood-filled head. It was fascinating and also quite beautiful to behold. Rey had never seen an erected penis before but she was happy that the first one she saw was Ben’s and if she was to decide, the only one too. Looking up she saw him bite his lip, appearing to be fighting back a groan and his eyes were tightly shut. When her other hand came up and cupped his sack he let out a grunt. Sensing that she was doing this right Rey’s curiosity got the better of her and she leaned forward and placed an open-mouthed kiss to the tip, wanting to do the same as he had done for her. Before she could continue though, Ben caught her neck, urging her to look up at him. 

“No, another time.” 

“But you said that we should make the best of this?” She released him and instead caressed his muscular thighs. 

“I know. But I am afraid I am not going to last if you continue further.” 

“Is it okay then? I wish I could return the favor.” 

“You don’t think I took immense pleasure in what I did to you earlier? I was close to coming probably ten times.” 

Her sex clenched hearing those words and she breathed in deeply, a shiver running down her spine. How could she, a former scavenger now Jedi fighter and not even very feminine or pretty, have such an effect on him? 

“Because I love you, and you _are_ pretty, never doubt that.“ He gently tucked a few tresses of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to wait much longer. Do you think you are ready?” 

Rey felt nervousness creep up on her again but the need and want for Ben was stronger and she definitely wanted him now. 

“Yes, I feel ready.” She placed her palms on the backs of his thighs and pulled slightly, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Please Ben, I don’t want to wait longer either.” 

She was about to spread her legs for him again but when Ben didn’t move she could tell something was bothering him. 

“What‘s wrong?” She asked, concerned and couldn’t help but think that maybe he didn’t want her after all. 

The confidence Ben showed before was gone and instead he looked worried and like he didn’t know how to proceed. 

“I am scared, Rey. What if I hurt you? What if I'm not good enough? For so long I have had a clear image about how I would like our first time to be and how I can make it a good experience for you. What if I don’t live up to your expectations?” 

Rey took his large hand in hers, marveling at how safe she felt just from holding it, and squeezed. 

“You will, and so what if you don’t? You, and _this_ , has already exceeded any expectations I might have had and even if it won’t go as expected, like I said before there are many more times to come for us to learn. There is a first time for everything for a reason and it is to make eventual mistakes and make up for them later.” She pulled at his hand, making him sit down between her legs and she took a firm hold on his neck. “Let’s take this for what it is. Don't think, just feel.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead and then his mouth. “Make me yours, Ben Solo.” 

Ben didn’t think it was possible to love Rey more than he already did but he was wrong. Her words comforted his troubled mind and he kissed her deeply. When she widened her legs further he put his hands on them to stop her. Instead, he went and sat down next to her and motioned for her to sit on his lap. 

“It’s better like this. This way you will be in complete control.” 

Rey’s face twitched with emotion and she blinked rapidly a couple of times, he would never stop surprising her with how he put her wellbeing first. “One moment.” She used the Force to bring her discarded clothes to her. She put her pants on one side of him and then her tunic and shirt on the other side before straddling him, putting her knees on her clothes. “Trying to avoid more injuries.” She made clear. Those clothes would probably be ruined later but she didn’t care. Now for once slightly above his level, she dipped her head and they kissed again. She ran one hand through the longer strands of hair at the base of his neck and supported herself with the other on his broad shoulders. Ben brought his hand down to her sex to test her if she was ready and when his fingers got covered in moisture as he ran them back and forth over her slit, he got the answer he was looking for. He collected some of it in his palm and then covered his cock in it, hoping it would help at least a little with lubrication. He then took Rey’s hand in his and wrapped it around himself. 

“I want you to do it Rey. I want you to take the lead.” 

With one hand on his cock and the other braced around his shoulders, Rey raised herself on her knees so that she was positioned above him. Giving each other one last look, they nodded. 

_Now!_

Rey sank down and felt the tip of him graze her. Taking one deep breath she sank down further but couldn’t find her opening with him right away, the saber light not providing enough help. She grimaced in discomfort as she pressed her overly sensitive parts to him and tried to fit him into her. When she finally did, she became too eager and sank down too fast. She cried out when she felt his thick head enter her and a sharp pain seared through her. She wrapped her arms tightly around Ben and he hugged her back, trying his best to soothe her while fighting the urge to enter her more deeply as her inner walls practically pulsated around him. 

“Oh Rey, sweetheart! I’m sorry!” He groaned into her hair and pressed a kiss to it, one hand settling in the silky tresses while the other ran up and down her back. She was trembling in his grip and even though she felt wonderful around him he couldn’t bear to see her in pain. “We can stop right now if you want.” 

Rey wouldn’t give up so easily though. She retreated from his shoulder and looked at him, her eyes misty but no tears fell. “No! There is no way I am going to back out now.” She already felt herself getting used to the feeling of him inside her. “Give me a few moments.” 

Through meditation, Rey had learned that focus and breathing were the main keys to complete relaxation. Putting both her forearms on Ben’s shoulders, she closed her eyes and started a mantra in her head. 

_Breathe. Slow. Breathe. Slow._

After some time, she felt the pain begin to subside and she dared to push down further. There was still a small, burning feeling but she was able to ignore it and instead a new wave of wetness coated their physical connection. Ben sat completely still, not daring to move, and his muscles tense as a result of holding himself back. Continuing her mantra, Rey’s inner muscles fluttered around him and while she was still tight the burn gradually changed into a tingling pleasure. When she opened her eyes and saw him gazing at her she found the last needed amount of courage and lowered herself onto him completely, only stopping when he was as deeply rooted inside her as far as she felt he could be for now. Now there was no pain left, only an overwhelming feeling of being full and complete and they both groaned. The power of the Force vibrated around them and their lips met in a mind-blowing kiss, Ben’s fingers pressing into her scalp. Rey kept still, feeling him stretching her as she continually accommodated him. He was in so _d_ _eep_ , so _big_ , and when they separated she cupped his cheek and her face radiated with happiness and relief. 

“This feels so...amazing! Ben, I'm so...you’re so big! I’m...” 

“Oh Rey, my sweetheart, my star, my love!” 

No words were enough to describe what Ben felt in this moment. Extreme pleasure from her squeezing him _oh_ so tightly and pride over her determination and stubbornness. Overcome with joy he pulled her in for another kiss and did a small thrust upwards with his hips, indicating that he wanted her to move and Rey seemed to grasp his intention. Breaking the kiss she used her forearms on his shoulders for leverage, and started moving. She hissed as she raised her hips only a little bit and then lowered them. For each time she dared to move a little higher until she finally only had the tip inside before sinking down on him again. The combination of her slick walls and his hard, pulsating girth caused a friction so wonderful it made her moan. Her face which had been taut in concentration went slack and she smiled at him with hooded eyes. 

“Oh...Ben...” 

“That’s it Rey, go on. It feels so good!” Ben grunted and took a firm hold of her hips but he still let her control the pace. Small contractions, perhaps her muscles still trying to adjust to him, massaged him and trapped his cock inside her like a vice. His mind practically screamed at him to meet her thrusts but he kept himself in check, not only for Rey’s sake but also for his own, not entirely sure what his own body was capable of and he wanted this to last as long as possible.

After repeating her movements without losing her balance, Rey trusted her body more. Her thighs relaxed their grip on his and she fell into a rhythm. She still took it slow, knowing that there was still a minor risk of injury and she still had Ben’s words in her mind from earlier about him not being able to last if she took things too quickly. He had entered her mind many times before with his own and she his. Now every time she descended on him it felt like he entered her mind also with his body, that’s how prominent his presence was inside her. 

Ben looked down at where they were joined and it was possibly the hottest thing he had ever seen; her taking him inside her core all the way, swallowing him as if it was nothing and his cock was coated with the proof of what they made each other feel. Her soft breasts brushed against his hard chest and he couldn’t resist capturing her sweet, swollen lips with his. His hands wandered from her hips up her now slick back and then down to her arse. He gripped her flesh tightly, making her roll her hips against him instead. The new angle brought him even deeper and it made her clit graze the hard area of his lower stomach just above where they were joined and they gasped into each other’s mouths at the new sensations. 

“Whatever happened to “slow”? Rey panted, not really knowing who the question was directed to. 

“Seems to me we’ve both moved past that stage now.” Ben said, equally out of breath. 

Neither of them minded that and they both smiled mischievously before their lips met in another sloppy kiss, letting their carnal desire be their only guide and leaving all thought behind. Ben licked down her throat and then latched on to her breasts and Rey’s head fell back as she groaned, pressing him hard to her with the palm of her hand. She clenched around him and knew that if they continued like this, neither would last much longer. Never had she thought that this amount of pleasure was possible and knowing that they were about to explore more of it in the future made her heart sing. 

Sweat was pouring down Ben’s face, neck and chest, his eyes were half-closed and moans escaped his throat every time she engulfed him. He had never looked so beautiful! This was probably the first time in his life that he had ever felt true pleasure and Rey wanted to memorize every bit of it. Seeing him like this caused a flush to spread from her chest through her entire body and sensing that her body prepared itself for release, she increased her pace. Ben tried to match her movements the best he could while kneading her buttocks with his large hands. When she clenched around him harder he felt his balls tighten and he too could feel himself getting closer to the edge. 

“Rey, I am going to come soon!” He said it all in one exhale, otherwise it would be probably only come out in gasps and pants. 

“So am I! I only need to...” 

She reached down between them and began touching herself to get that extra push towards completion. When Ben saw this, he snarled and gently but firmly pushed her hand away, replacing it with his own. “Mine!” He growled and began rubbing her first back and forth and then in circles, finding that she responded to the second alternative the best. 

He repeatedly circled her hard nub as she kept rocking against him. A crease formed between her brows and she surrendered herself to him as he possessed her in every way possible, both her mind and her body, and she found herself loving every second of it. 

_And you me! You own every bit of me, my love!_

He responded to her thoughts first through the Force and then grunted into the crook of her neck “Every bit of me...every bit...” 

Rey felt her control slip and in an attempt to not lose herself completely she gripped Ben’s shoulders as hard as she could while her hips kept rolling against his. His cock went so deep and the rough pads of his fingers rubbed her so perfectly that it was the only things she could think about. 

“Ben, I can’t! Oh... _kriff!_ _”_

Ben retreated from her neck and the hand that wasn’t occupying her clit gripped her hair. ”Let go for me sweetheart, there is just us here!” 

And let go she did. Arching into him and pressing down on him the hardest she could she came apart under his hand and cock. Her sex spasmed around him in regular contractions and she closed her eyes as a strangled cry and then a long groan escaped her mouth. The pleasure was so intense that I was almost painful and yet she kept on moving throughout her release, wanting to help Ben reach his own. Opening her eyes again she both saw and felt him still beneath her, his eyes tightly shut, his teeth bared and his cock twitching before he spilled himself inside her with a groan that emitted from deep within his chest. Her body kept milking him until they were both spent and collapsed in each other's arms, holding on to each other tightly with what felt like the last powers they had left. 

Their breaths soon slowed down and so did their heartbeats. Trying not to break their connection, Rey shifted so that she brought her legs away from under her and instead wrapped them loosely around his hips. Her knees hurt a little from the impact of her thrusts but no new wounds were visible. Ben dragged his lips from below her collarbone up her nape to her lips. They shared a sated look before they kissed languidly, sighing and moaning from satisfaction and exhaustion and the Force buzzed around them, almost like it itself was excited about what just had occurred. Both of Rey’s hands settled in Ben’s hair and even if it now was wet and unclean she couldn’t stop running her fingers through its thick texture. They might have been two bodies but right now, they were one; one soul, one heartbeat, one breath, one dyad, one _love_. 

When they broke apart Ben brought his hand to Rey’s forehead, tenderly removing a few tendrils before moving down to her cheek, cradling her as if he wanted to make sure she was still there and that this wasn’t simply one of his many dreams. Rey did the same with him and she had never seen a person so vulnerable than Ben was in this moment, he had opened up for her in ways she never thought possible and she would always be grateful for that. One single tear trickled down his cheek and Rey removed it with her thumb.

“Are you in pain?” She finally asked, quietly, as if she was scared that talking too loudly would break the bond between them. 

“You’re asking me that?” He couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

“Well, it wasn’t me who fell down into a pit, then decided to climb all the way back up, bring me back to life and who now is the most injured of us.” 

“I’m fine.” It wasn’t completely true, his whole body ached but that ache was nothing compared to the euphoria he felt from their union. “In fact, I am more than fine. And happy.” 

_I am happy too._

Rey took his hand in hers and clasped it hard before kissing it and Ben ran his other hand along her thigh. They sat so for a few moments simply enjoying the feel of each other's naked bodies, the quiet and the closeness before Rey decided to speak again. 

“You said that you had imagined our first time together before. When you did, what was it like?” 

“Does it matter? All I can say is that I had never imagined that it would be this good.” 

“Even if we did it in a dark place with no comforts whatsoever?” She grinned, teasing him. 

He grinned back, looked down and shook his head. “Alright. I do admit that it wasn’t the most comfortable place and I had imagined us being in a big bed, protected from all possible dangers. But I am happy we did it here and I wouldn’t change anything about it, trust me.” 

_Neither would I._

Rey dipped her head down and nipped at his lips. She wouldn’t change this for anything either. Even if they had just made love it was obvious that they still couldn’t get enough of each other. Suddenly Rey’s eyes widened and she pulled away. 

“What is it?” Ben asked her. 

“I can sense Finn. They're here.” 

Ben looked at her in disbelief. “Here? Where is “here”? They haven’t heard us have they?” 

“No. They are outside. We should go.” 

Ben nodded but he couldn’t help but feel a bit reluctant and disappointed, he wouldn’t have minded staying in this position for a little longer but at the same time he couldn’t wait to start a new life with Rey. She lifted herself off him and grimaced when his length left her depths. A small, throbbing ache spread through her genital area and Ben sensed her discomfort right away. 

“Have I hurt you?” He asked, panicked and cursed himself inwardly. 

“No, it’s fine. This is normal afterwards and especially after the first time. It will pass.” 

When he didn’t reply but only sat with his shoulders slumped, his elbows on his thighs and his face in his palms she bent down and tilted his face upwards until his eyes met hers. 

“Ben, I told you. I'm alright. My body will get used to this eventually. Don't worry."

He nodded, still bothered by her ache but he knew he had no other choice but to trust her. He supported himself on his hands as he also stood up. He was about to hand her her clothes but before she could take them he pulled her in for a firm kiss. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

They smiled before letting go of each other, much against their will, and finally dressed. As Rey’s outfit was more detailed than Ben’s he was already finished when she only had put on the items for the upper body. When she was about to put on her underwear she lost her balance but Ben was, of course, there to catch her and he embraced her from behind. 

“How many times do I have to catch you when you’re about to fall?” He whispered in her ear before nibbling it. 

“Probably many times more, but it seems to me that you don’t mind it.” She turned her head and pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat. 

“You’re damn right I don’t!” 

He gave her a final squeeze and a wet kiss on her shoulder before releasing her. She managed to put on the rest of her items except the armbands which Ben insisted to help her with and her hairbands which were nowhere to be found. They both grabbed their sabers and shared one final look before they went towards what they hoped would be their new life together. A life they both deserved. 


End file.
